Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Wholesome conservative values

As the REAL Scott Bato, I am often envious of wholesome conservative celebrities who grew up with "huge values."

That's why I'm so disappointed to read about some of the Big Hollywood shenanigans like divorces and babies being born out of wedlock.

Former "Happy Days" star Scott Baio has married his longtime girlfriend Renee Sloan in a ceremony in Los Angeles on Saturday.

The small religious ceremony took place on the rooftop of a luxury high-rise building, with guests including Sloan's 18-year-old daughter Kalyn, from a previous relationship, and the couple's newborn baby girl, who was delivered last month.

Does anyone else have examples of Big Hollywood stars who don't live by wholesome sets of values? Post them here and let's discuss! :-)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

It's Go Time

Twitter has now suspended TWO of my accounts: RealScottBato and TheScottBato. Both were obvious parodies, duh. TheScottBato's bio said "I am not Scott Baio."

These accounts were started after filth-mouthed, woman-hating conservative Scott Baio (@TheScottBaio) tweeted that his wife called Obama a "shitfuck," and he agreed. Many American patriots pointed out to him that perhaps calling the president a "shitfuck" was not the best way to generate positive attention for his children's charity. He blocked everyone who spoke up, and continued to giggle about stupid liberals. (In one tweet, later deleted, he called them "retarded.")

Then Baio got his big career break. He was given a segment on The Glenn Beck Show. The problem was, Scott Baio is not a smart man. That same day, he clicked a phishing email, and managed to lock himself out of his Twitter account.

While blaming "liberal hackers" for compromising his account, he started a replacement, @RealScottBaio. And to prove it was him, he held up a sign with his name on it! Which he misspelled "Bato" because he's truly, genuinely dumb.

So, since my name is Scott Bato, I started @RealScottBato because I was tired of the lies around my name. Baio has a cadre of overweight, stupid female fans all hoping to be his next Joanie, so they descended on @RealScottBato like there was a 2% off sale on Nutter Butters at their Wal-Mart.

After a few days of obvious, over-the-top parody, Baio figured out who was behind the account:

Michael Thibodeau AKA @dayswithdave is responsible 4 the FAKE @realscottbaTo acct. Support & @caroline knows. PLZ RT

Scott let loose his army of flabby-forearmed dummies. Of course, he was wrong - the person they accused had no idea who @RealScottBato even was. After clucking around for a while and complaining to someone named @caroline, the @RealScottBato account was suspended. Baio announced that my account was "only directed to hurt children." Says the person who can't even refrain from calling Obama a "shitfuck" while talking about his charity.

Since my voice was being silenced by a D-List, foul-mouthed celeb and his army of fans, I migrated to @TheScottBato. Which has "I am not Scott Baio" right in the bio. This account was disabled last night - evidently Twitter is not to be used for mocking Scott Baio.

So I need to ask a favor of everyone. We need parody Scott Baio accounts by the dozen. Please take five minutes to help:

1. Create a fake Scott Baio account. Go to gmail, get any old address (not your regular email), and then go to Twitter, come up with a good not-Baio name and open the account.

2. Send a couple of tweets, with the #baio-shitfuck tag. You can direct them to @RealScottBaio if you like.

I'll collect the good ones and post them here.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In case you missed the originals...

Here are most of my RealScottBato tweets that Twitter deleted.

@RealScottBato Michael Thibodeau AKA @dayswithdave is responsible 4 the REAL @realscottbaIo acct. Support & @caroline knows. PLZ RT Mon 19 Oct 15:22

@RealScottBato All these people should know who I really am. I AM SCOTT BATO. Mon 19 Oct 15:14

@RealScottBato RT @RealScottBaio: Michael Thibodeau AKA @dayswithdave is responsible 4 the FAKE @realscottbaTo acct. No he's not, genius. I'm SCOTT BATO. Mon 19 Oct 15:10

@RealScottBato @DaysWithDave HEY LIBCROTCH. My charity is for well babies. Both babies who have nothing wrong with them, and babies stuck in wells. Mon 19 Oct 14:43

@RealScottBato RT @Gr8spiritwolf I NEVER said that shit. Fake RT...another TOS violation. Mon 19 Oct 14:42

@RealScottBato RT @DaysWithDave: @Gr8spiritwolf Stop harassing @RealScottBato - your jealousy is unbecoming. Very uncharitable. Give to well babies! Mon 19 Oct 14:34

@RealScottBato RT @angelfrmcanada Please BLOCK @realscottbaTo is a FAKE saying bad things about Scott Baio's family. Who is "Baio"? I AM SCOTT BATO. Mon 19 Oct 14:30

@RealScottBato RT @Gr8spiritwolf: @Caroline How long 2 get rid of @realscottbaTo when they R obviously harassing @RealScottBaio? YES! I SUCK. Mon 19 Oct 14:02

@RealScottBato RT @Gr8spiritwolf: RT @LopezsAngels @REALSCOTTBATO IS FAKE ACCT BLOCK THIS PERSON Why are you a hater? Mon 19 Oct 6:58


@RealScottBato RT @LinuxGal: The Democratic emblem is a jackass -- obviously a character reference! #tcot I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SNAP ON DEMS! SIT ON IT! Sun 18 Oct 17:58

@RealScottBato .@talldrinkofh20 My hot starlet wife IS my agent. You know what they call a libfart who can't read? YOU. LOLOLOLOLOL give to my charity! Sun 18 Oct 17:53

@RealScottBato .@talldrinkofh20 My hot starlet wife's name is NOT "Pimpin' John," you libscrew. It's...let me check...Renee or Bailey or something. Sun 18 Oct 17:49

@RealScottBato .@talldrinkofh20 Wife also said it would keep down the number of "rich Hollywood Jews" showing up. I LOVE THAT FOUL-MOUTHED PIECE OF TAIL! Sun 18 Oct 17:42

@RealScottBato .@talldrinkofh20 What do you mean? My agent (and hot starlet wife) said it would be a great career move. Sun 18 Oct 17:40

@RealScottBato .@DaysWithDave My signing is Mon. El Pollo Loco, 2801 Crenshaw, LA. Buy two posters and get a free Corn Cobbette. It's for CHARITY! Sun 18 Oct 17:35

@RealScottBato RT @DaysWithDave: @aTerribleMuriel - I love that some think I'm Bato You're...not? But you're really fat, right? I hate fat chicks n shit Sun 18 Oct 17:27

@RealScottBato .@OxyConservative ROFLAMO you misspelled looser, libcrust. Please give to my charity. Sun 18 Oct 12:51

@RealScottBato .@OxyConservative No, your a looser and a libtard who must be destroyed. Please give to my children's charity! Sun 18 Oct 12:47

@RealScottBato Hey I thought LA had an NFL team, but they don't now. Another victory for Limbaugh! Sun 18 Oct 12:45

@RealScottBato RT @LizBlaine: 6/27/04 "Kenyan-born Obama all set for US Senate" #tcot #ocra This PROVES that shitfuck isn't prez! Sun 18 Oct 12:43

@RealScottBato Wow. I don't remember one second of the past 18 hours. Sun 18 Oct 4:42

@RealScottBato .@musiccitygal Ladies can come to the signing for free if they let me sign their right breast. Unlike libfucks, we conservs have MORALS Sat 17 Oct 13:44

@RealScottBato .@Seriou The difference between what? A libtard and a total assbutt? NONE! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!! Please support my charity. #tcot Sat 17 Oct 13:42

@RealScottBato Who's coming to my memorabilia signing at El Pollo Loco on Tuesday morning? They need a headcount by tonight. Sat 17 Oct 13:34

@RealScottBato RT @Gr8spiritwolf: @peasleer RealScottBato is a jerk. real identity is dayswithdave; a loser w/no morals. Is this true, @dayswithdave? Sat 17 Oct 13:15

@RealScottBato RT @peasleer: My trolling paid off: I apparently caught a dude from Charles in Charge in my trollnet. He's a celebrity (or so he said) Sat 17 Oct 10:43

@RealScottBato @peasleer I'm the Real Scott Bato! Sat 17 Oct 10:38

@RealScottBato This picture of NOBama I just posted, along with a random quote from Khruchsev (sp?) is real frightening. WAKE UP! Sat 17 Oct 10:19

@RealScottBato .@hollyhock100 I am really annoyed that people like @RealScottBaio are trying to impersonate me, Scott Bato. Sat 17 Oct 10:17

@RealScottBato My followers and charming wife are right. This fuckbaby president must be destroyed!!! @glennbeck #tcot #givetomycharity Sat 17 Oct 10:15

@RealScottBato Weird morning. I went to get my huge royalty check from the mail, and my robe totally fell off. The cops let me off w an autograph. Sat 17 Oct 9:48

@RealScottBato .@Dasani_01 I'm signing memorabilia at El Pollo Loco next Tuesday morning. Why don't you bring yourself back to Chachi? Sat 17 Oct 3:19

@RealScottBato RT @ttjemery: `What happened to global warming? (Al Gore is a LIAR) #tcot YES! Him and Richie Cunningham. Sat 17 Oct 3:06

@RealScottBato .@Dasani_01 Disconcerting for YOU, just to think about it now. Sat 17 Oct 3:00

@RealScottBato .@peasleer I am a celebrity. I have little people like you go find the facts FOR me. I was in Charles ih Charge! Sat 17 Oct 3:00

@RealScottBato .@CelluloidBlonde Nah. @whyinthehell and I are cool now. I turned her conservative and instilled some values in her. Fri 16 Oct 20:38

@RealScottBato RT @jaxy89: Things that Make Liberals foam at the mouth: Teaparties #tcot #ocra And child stars!! Stupid liberals. Fri 16 Oct 20:32

@RealScottBato .@CelluloidBlonde How bout a little sugar from Chachi? Mrrrrrrrrow. Fri 16 Oct 20:30

@RealScottBato .@HeferDust Who the F is "Baio"? Some impostor? Fri 16 Oct 20:26

@RealScottBato .@Musiccitygal I'm not getting anywhere near your ACORN crazy-ass. You should still give to my charity for babies though. Fri 16 Oct 20:26

@RealScottBato My wife said the funniest thing before: "I hate libtard assholes!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Give generously to help children. Fri 16 Oct 20:01

@RealScottBato .@pierrestromberg I'm the real Scott Bato. Can't you see my PICTURE, libcrust? Or did Obama steal you're EYES too? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Fri 16 Oct 19:48

@RealScottBato RT @musiccitygal: .@RealScottBato Im all for the place & time. you a real woman? SIT ON IT. Fri 16 Oct 19:43

@RealScottBato .@natalie_keefe Geez, keep ya shoit on. Fri 16 Oct 19:20

@RealScottBato .@Wil_M The only treatment I need is for that rash I picked up from the dame on Sepulveda. Er, how do I block this tweet from @mrsscottbato? Fri 16 Oct 19:17


@RealScottBato RT @whyinthehell: @natalie_keefe @wil_m - @RealScottBato being mean2me Had to call your libfuck friends for backup, huh? Fri 16 Oct 19:07

@RealScottBato . @peasleer HOW can we prove to these libshits once and for all that Obama is a foreign Kenyan?? #tcot #912 Fri 16 Oct 19:03

@RealScottBato @DebiNagle Are people making comments about me, Scott Bato? Can you report them to me so I can call the FBI? Fri 16 Oct 18:57

@RealScottBato .@talldrinkofh20 calling people libtards, fuckshits and shitfucks is no way to get them to donate to your charity. -- WOW YOU HATE KIDS Fri 16 Oct 18:52

@RealScottBato Can someone (not a lib) help me? I clicked on a DM link and now all these sexy women keep popping up. Is this that "phisting" thing? Fri 16 Oct 18:47

@RealScottBato RT @DaysWithDave Follow Friday @RealScottBato Libshits need not apply. LOL. Fri 16 Oct 18:43

@RealScottBato Last time I Checked I have the right to Freedom of speech. You Libs hate that, don't you? Go Blog this: Scott Bato uses Caps randomly. Fri 16 Oct 18:40

@RealScottBato Wouldn't it be great if both of the Manning brothers played in the superbowl this year? I love Payton and Danny! Fri 16 Oct 18:38

@RealScottBato .@jillosopher @cynicor u still say conservs have murderers values? And you do infanticide and stuff? Fri 16 Oct 18:35

@RealScottBato .@whyinthehell You dare speak to Chachi like that? Bow down before Chachi, libtard. I can has moneys for charity? Fri 16 Oct 18:26

@RealScottBato @whyinthehell No, you are me. WE ARE ALL SCOTT BATO now. Fri 16 Oct 18:23

@RealScottBato .@DebiNagle I don't even want your money. I WILL SUE U. EXTORT ME U WILL NOT!! Plz RT. Give to my charity! Fri 16 Oct 18:20

@RealScottBato FYI: @thejimmybato is FAKE. He's NOT on twitter. I've reason 2 believe @whyinthehell set up fake acct. She has mult accts 2 hide & spew hate Fri 16 Oct 18:20

@RealScottBato RT @tllanes: And yes, tonight I SHALL make good on my Meghan McCain Buxom Tank Top Solitarity Photo. NOW THAT'S A WOMAN! SIT ON IT!! Fri 16 Oct 18:18

@RealScottBato .@HeferDust OH BOO HOO. Why don't you start some fuckass wolf charity? It's easy. Even my foul-mouthed hot wife did one. Fri 16 Oct 18:16

@RealScottBato Dear @whyinthehell: WTF is I thought we were cool. I hate you. Fri 16 Oct 18:10

@RealScottBato .@rogersherman THANK’S FOR THE PICTURE OF YOUR LIBTARD MOM. Fri 16 Oct 17:10

@RealScottBato .@whyinthehell Do I have to block u again? God I hate women! Support my children's charity! Fri 16 Oct 15:43

@RealScottBato I hope some of your liberal fuckshits donate to my adorable children's charity. Fri 16 Oct 11:05